question to everyone!

[Maelstrom]

This takes me back.
One of my favourite tales from life as a mechanic.
Working in shop when colleague takes phone call, laughs, and then says "This one is for you" (it is a Ducati twin owner).

Customer: My bike won't start and it makes a noise. What do you think "Frasers" have done to it.
Me: Can I assume that "Frasers" is where you bought the motorcycle?
Customer: Yes
Me: And was the motorcycle running when you bought it?
Customer: Yes, but (here it comes) my mate and I took the heads off.
Me: (Considered asking why they would do such a thing but invariably the reply would be ridiculous) I see.
Customer: And one piston was at the top and the other one was halfway down.
Me: Yes it is a 90 degree V Twin.
Customer: What is that? Anyway what do you think Frasers did to it?
Me: (Trying not to choke) You bought a motorcycle that was running then you took the cylinder heads off, rotated the crankshaft, put the cylinders back on and now it will not start and makes a noise.
Customer: Yes.
Me: Did you set the cam timing correctly.
Customer: What's that?
Me: You need to take it to a motorcycle shop and have it repaired. The noise is most likely a valve being struck by a piston.
Customer: If I bring it to your shop will you teach me about this cam timing stuff.

You can guess the rest. We all had a good laugh and I phoned the owner of Frasers to tell him this great story.

This is you Mr Xivlia. Bolts and nuts, as everyone has informed you, are meaningless. You are way out of your depth, and you should follow the excellent advice that has been given to you countless times. Alternatively, enrol in a mechanics course at a technical college, if such a thing is possible.

[Drunkn Munky]

lol classic

[xivlia]

i have done pretty much everything neo has told me. and actually managed it.

[billnit]

[VFRkieran]

Taking bets on how long it is until this one gets locked aswell.

[The Novice]

Have you actually fixed your bike yet?
or if I have read this correctly, you have now decided its best to strip down a random engine then put it back together, assuming you can, for no good reason other than you want to? Oh and you want it for £nothing.............

Stop asking stupid stuff and just get your own bike running and useable. This is getting slightly boring now, I used to be amused with your threads but not any more.

You have even had offers from people to fix it for you and still.............. oh I cant be arsed any more. Someone send him an engine for the fox to piss on.

[xivlia]

Have you actually fixed your bike yet?
or if I have read this correctly, you have now decided its best to strip down a random engine then put it back together, assuming you can, for no good reason other than you want to? Oh and you want it for £nothing.............

Stop asking stupid stuff and just get your own bike running and useable. This is getting slightly boring now, I used to be amused with your threads but not any more.

You have even had offers from people to fix it for you and still.............. oh I cant be arsed any more. Someone send him an engine for the fox to piss on.

wtf bike is fixed all i need is a new cdi and/or coils... ive bought a cdi to see if itl fix the cutting out issues at high temperatures. if it doesnt il have to buy new coils... even though the coils are within spec. and the pick ups... they are also replaced so they cant be the problem.

[thunderace]

wtf bike is fixed all i need is a new cdi and/or coils... ive bought a cdi to see if itl fix the cutting out issues at high temperatures. if it doesnt il have to buy new coils... even though the coils are within spec. and the pick ups... they are also replaced so they cant be the problem.

If the bike is fixed then you don't need parts. So it obviously is not fixed. Stop telling porkies

[The Novice]

Have you actually fixed your bike yet?
or if I have read this correctly, you have now decided its best to strip down a random engine then put it back together, assuming you can, for no good reason other than you want to? Oh and you want it for £nothing.............

Stop asking stupid stuff and just get your own bike running and useable. This is getting slightly boring now, I used to be amused with your threads but not any more.

You have even had offers from people to fix it for you and still.............. oh I cant be arsed any more. Someone send him an engine for the fox to piss on.

wtf bike is fixed all i need is a new cdi and/or coils... ive bought a cdi to see if itl fix the cutting out issues at high temperatures. if it doesnt il have to buy new coils... even though the coils are within spec. and the pick ups... they are also replaced so they cant be the problem.

Or in other words, No it's not fixed, just as I thought.

[xivlia]

but there is nothing majorly wrong with it. thats my point.